There Is Pleasure In The Pathless Woods

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more,

From these our interviews, in which I steal

From all I may be, or have been before,

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

 

- Lord Byron

Shall Be Good

That topic is a pun, similar to the American drama of 1997 in which Damon and Affleck starred... actually rocked! So, since last week I am in that awkward situation where I don't know whether I should be happy that my school is almost over or not for the same reason. And all of that has to do with this Awesome Alaskan that I lately came to know and is a friend now!

 

You know what? For a while I had a huge regret that I missed Friday Coffee Hour for a year or so, and never been there before! Just because I thought if I had been there before, I would have probably talked to her earlier. But wait... today I realized she was in China beginning August last year when I arrived till June this year... so maybe I don't have that regret, not a big one!

Last week my friends in class were like, "How was your weekend?", with a big smile I replied "Awesome! Probably the best weekend since I came here!" And, probably it was it. Since that eventual day, first time I talked to her over dinner, she has occupied the Wall Street of my head! And tell you the truth my eyes long to see her again... and lucky they were and so were my ears when she called my name when we passed by! One of the best feelings ever!

I was reluctant to tell about her to my friends, but eventually I did. I said, I have a huge crush on this Alaskan! They were excited and wanted me to bring her to the Thanksgiving potluck that we are celebrating a day before Thanksgiving on Wednesday. That didn't make any sense to me! I mean, I only have talked to her once, maybe she's going home, if not she has friends, maybe she has plans, she knows nothing about me... and I don't want to ruin this friendship. That's it. It would be kind of awkward to ask her to come, and I am not even sure if I will ever get to see her again!

I don't prefer it to be called 'stalking', 'secret admirer' maybe... I was going through her albums... and during her time in China she went to Cambodia, Thailand, Laos and Vietnam... I envied that. It is an open secret that I would love to travel the world sometimes, so does my brother... but after going through her pictures I was like 'maybe we have a connect in that case'... I wish, I wish, I wish... if we could, together!

She actually inspired me to be better person, indirectly... she is so so good... I need to improve. I am all in love with my life again... I wish to learn a new language, play drum, how to shoot a gun, swim, go to Alaska... actually travel the world. I seriously wish our roads will cross sometimes, someday in our lifetime even if I am gone from this place. And till then I wish my heart will beat with the beat of her drum!

Mystery, Alaska!

Whenever I thought of Alaska, I rembered the cold snow covered mountains, Aleutian Islands, Fairbanks, Anchorage, Denali or the movie Into The Wild... but more or less it was the chilly weather and grizzlies... and being an Energy MBA student a little bit of oil reserves out there, not to forget the Yukons, Igloos and Inuits. But from yesterday evening I have one more thing to remember from The Last Frontier! Maybe the best one, a wonderful new friend!

 

I am all praise about her. Seen her playing African drums during Friday Coffee Hour at the Union months back as well as friday last. And maybe few other times on campus. I can see her enjoy playing the drum when most of others, not everyone, were playing with a serious or straight face. She looked as if she was having fun... smiling all the way... and that is something I can relate to. I play not to win, but to have fun, and as I say - that way even if I lose, I win.

 

So what should I say about her? No name taking for now... but she is tall, beautiful, have amazing smile, went to China for a year on scholarship, knows Chinese, nice to everyone and what not. She is such a wonderful human being you can instantly fall for. And I had the pleasure to talk to her yesterday evening  for a while over International Etiquette Dinner.

 

Maybe her smile was contagious as I still have that smile while updating this blog. I wish we were on the same table so that I could have talked to her longer... I mean talking over the line for dinner with hundreds of people around is kind of awkward, right? And did I say she knows my name?

 

And to wrap it up, she was elegantly dressed in black and I wished I could dance when I saw her rocking the dance floor! Oh my! I think I have a huge crush on her or should I say massive if that sounds bigger and better! Lord you not doing good to me! I mean, all this when all I have is less than 20 days of school remaining? I will miss Laramie till May just because she is graduating then! :D

11/12/13

Looks like a fancy date right? It is... but I will remember it to be the last day of my parents very first visit to the States. Once in a while whenever I went to Denver my friends were like 'Are your parents still in Denver? You're so lucky!'... but nomore, they are leaving early tomorrow morning... I wish they could stay here till my graduation next month. I hope they have a safe journey. I luff them, always have. I will miss them.

Laramie, One Last Time

Not a mood swing. Came back from Denver this evening after bhai-tika. My parents are leaving Wednesday, next... I couldn;t make to Denver then, so it was my final adieu to them for a while... leaving to Casper hopefully early tomorrow morning with the MBA class, not sure if I would be able to get up at 4:00 am... but in between I don;t know what changed... nothing that special happened... but with some home made sweets, I got my old self back from the Mile High City... so Laramie, I forgive you for all that was.

Worst Series Of Bad Luck?

Just read my blog from two weeks ago and you may think I am among the happiest being on the surface of earth... fast forward those weeks and now I feel to be among the most unfortunate lot. I must confess, I had a series of bad lucks and don;t have any idea when this is going to end! Oh God! You;re not doing good to me!

 

First it was Germany. Everyone in the university was talking about it all year long since the previous batch went there. We were the next, everyone knew. And when the time came I had to return from the airport just because they didn;t realized I would need a visa! So they left me there. Dumped in Denver International Airport. Someone's dream, someone else's nightmare!

 

Everyone is back now. I thought the management will at least have their part of story to tell to me, but so far I have heard from no one. I am disappointed. And whenever someone asks me about the trip, what goes through my head? It kind of feels humiliating... it sucks! I am tired of telling my part of story to everyone, I am done... with everything, this place, university... I want to be here no more... just some weeks ago I wanted the time to never pass, and now? My world has turned upside down... I can;t even wait till December to graduate... even though it;s just over a month time. I never wanted to return to Laradise(?) after what happened, and with the way things are going right now, I wish I could have stayed.

 

We were supposed to write 1500-3000 words essay about the German trip but after I was dumped, I thought may be I don;t have to do that. But tell you what? The professor had some other idea, she has exact same questions, same companies and now I have to write an essay relating those companies with context to Nepal! Is she trying to piss me off! Others would be fine with that just because they were on the trip, but me? How can I do indepth analysis of those companies and relate to those back home? Maybe I need to complain... I will just see if I can find something enough, else I need to talk to the professor.

 

I was there in Denver during rice-feeding ceremony of my niece on 23rd last month just because I was not in Germany... and since I was supposed to be abroad my sister scheduled the date for a party the week after I would arrive, on 2nd of November. Since I had some good friends, she also wanted them to come along... and now I have that trip cancelled as well. One of my friends has two mid-term exams next week, so he can;t come... another friend agreed, but later called me this evening that he realized he has to go to a dinner tomorrow evening so even he couldn;t make it. I call my sister, and she is pissed off!

 

Back to graduation, we were to order our gown and caps online and the deadline was 1st November, mid-night. Earlier this week, I went to MBA office to find out the size of my cap. Was busy all week. Tried to make an order on Wednesday, but they won;t accept my debit-card. So I call my sister at 7:30 this evening, tell her about it, she was just back from work about to eat and then make Siya sleep, so she says she would call me after she is done. She calls me at 10:05pm, I was ready with the form since 7:30 pm, everything filled-up besides her credit card details... I press submit! And to my utter disbelief, another bad luck! The deadline was mid-night Eastern Time! I was late by 5 minutes... now I have to wait until December 4-5 and purchase my gown and cap at University Bookstore at higher price, and not sure if I will get the right size!

 

Should I say more? ... maybe yes, nothing going right these days. I don;t know how many bad lucks are yet to follow.  Maybe I should just get the graduation certificate without going to the commencement. I don;t like this place anyways, anymore... and then I am not American as well, maybe the commencement is not for me, the lone international student in the MBA program!

Post script: At present, I hate myself like nothing else. I wonder when was the last time I felt so low? Maybe when I was in grade VI when I was not doing good in school. My confidence has tanked, and I can;t even fake a smile!