I've Nothing More To Say

There Was A Time Not So Long Ago

When I Longed To Talk To You All Day

Things Have Changed Now And How

To You Now I've Nothing More To Say



No Never Were My Dreams Broken

I Did Expect Things To Go This Way

But The Way Tables Turned Around

To You Now I've Nothing More To Say



It's Not A Question Who Was Wrong

Or Who Was Stranded On The Bay

Fate Decides Which Trail We Take, So

To You Now I've Nothing More To Say

Ain;t Your Business

I guess everyone is well aware of taking a ride in public transport. Both its upside and the downside. I ain;t going to focus much on either of that. Just want to share an incident during my ride home in public transport today.

There are these two kids, both eleven graders as they said, busy talking with each others when these two Indian guys (judging by their look and accent) hop in. They take the seat just opposite to these kids. The kids are still going on with their conversation. After a while one of the guys asks the girl, "Are you boyfriend-girlfriend?". The girl blushes but denies it outright. "No, we are just friends."

The conversation/interference should have stopped there and then. But the Indian guy had more to say. "Are you worried to accept that?". The girl restates, "No, we are just friends." But this guy goes on. "How long have you known each other?" "Since grade three", the girl says. He follows up, "Do you like each other?" "Yes. We have known each other since we were kids."

The way this girl was talking, it felt they were more than friends. Just a guess. Not judging. But my point of writing this post is not that. I have serious objection with what that Indian guy was asking, as if these kids owed him the explanation. Who the hell is he to ask question about someone;s private life? 

Seeing this my funny side tickles me. I whisper to my brother, "What if I ask the same question to these guys? Are you friends? How long have you known each other? Do you like him?" I expected to hear all the same answers like that girl from them, but would have liked to ended up with the very question that the Indian guy started with. "Is he your boyfriend? Are you gay?"

I guess I should have asked them. Don;t you think so? At least someone would have learned a lesson the hard way! Or the right way. 

Post Script: I have no intention to hurt the sentiments of gay community. I am all in for equality.

Ei8ht - It's Downhill From Here

So they decided to divide us into eight states. Without any name, without any borders. Just agreed upon the number. And since we handed our future in the hands of leaders of these four parties, now eight would be our fate and of the generations to follow.

I have said time and again that we are just too few to be divided. Nepal is smaller than most of the states in United States, or even that of our 'friendly' neighbour India. We are not self sufficient as a country, how will these state meet their needs? They are just sowing the seed for disintegration and division among us. It would surely be remembered to be one of the darkest days in the history of this republic. I hope it does not materialize. But that is just a wishful thinking for now.

So, today I want to apologize and say sorry to our ancestors and also to the generation to come that I could do nothing to stop this from happening. I might not have voted them to the office, but the people of my time did, and I too share the blame  equally along with them for getting them here.

I hope there is a change of wind in days to come, but from where we stand today, the nation surely is heading downhill. May the good lord save us from this disaster on the horizon. Sri Pashupatinath le hami sabaiko rakshya garun! 

Barca Brilliance!

Barcelona beat Juventus to lift their fifth Champions League. Rakitik, Suarez and Neymar scored for the victors while Madrid born Morata got the consolation for Juve. Iniesta was Man of the Match in Xavi' slast game for Blaugrana. What a career and what a fairytail ending for his glittering career!

But newspapers were all praise for Messi! Like in case of CR7, when he takes all the credit when he is playing. Whether he deserves it or not. Remember Player of the Tournament award in last World Cup in Brazil? I agree he is a genius, and there is no one close behind him besides CR7, but the way Ballon D'or has been awarded, it looks farce! And its related to FIFA, hah!

He has won everything with Barcelona, but so have Xavi and Iniesta. Actually those two Spaniard have won a World Cup and two Euros as well, if that counts. But they never won the individual prize. Because they don;t score goals. Strikers make the headlines, not other outfield players. But believe me, if it was not them, Barcelona won;t have ended with that many trophies as they ended up with.

I am a Madrid fan, always have been but still Barca are my second favourite. How can't you love them when you grew up seeing Puyol, Enrique, Rivaldo, Xavi and the likes playing. And I loved Spain. Well before the started their conquest.

I have liked Xavi for one more reason. You are aware about Barca-Real rivalry, right?. How nasty it gets during El Clasico. But he and his best friend, Iker - San Iker of Madrid, didn;t let it spill it over Spanish dressing room. That's a true leader. I would prefer him over Messi or CR7 anyday. 

All the best for his next adventure in Qatar. Gracias.

I Have A Nightmare!

I have a nightmare that a day will come not far away when we and our children will worship the holy trinity of Lord Gee Pi Kay, Lord Maa Koo Nay and Lord Pi Kay Dee ... the lord of this land... the saviors. Its no surprise how this revered saints of God rose from commoner to be what they are today. They sacrificed petty greed, human emotions, family because they dared to dream big!

Lord Gee Pi Kay along with his family fought tirelessly from the grass root to become the highest lord of this Himalayan hinterland. He was accused of being power greedy, favouring his lone daughter, amassing money through corruption, inciting inter party conflict for his gain and what not! But he rose and how? He was the major force that brought down the 250 year old feudalistic rule of the Sha Hahs. He and his heard of sheep should never be forgotten for what they blessed us with. He was a true Messiah! No, he was the God!

Another of his kind was Lord Maa Koo Nay, who with his every rhetoric made sure the people don't forget what they aspire for. Freedom from the century old Lords, who treated them equal when the fact is every men are not equal... they are different, they are different and not the same. When the holy war against the brutal-tyrant, the last Sha Hah, was on full swing, he lost his mother. But keeping the personal loss aside, he dared to dream big, and never gave up on his dreams. It took him some time, but he achieved what he strived for. In process he was humiliated, but he kept his immoral standards high and thus we were blessed to be served by a Lord of his stature. We must have done something really bad in our past life that we got to see this day.

Last but not the least, Lord Pi Kay Dee... the champion of poor and the backwards. He gave them the voice and guns so that they could fight for their rights... rights to fight for their Lord, for his dream and for his family. The feudal Sha Hah slaughtered thousands with his own bare hands, the masses were trembling and begging for mercy. But he kept burning houses and families of everyone who differed with him. Then came the Lord Pi Kay Dee from the forest of the western hills, with with angels of deaths creating havoc among the loyal servants of old Sha Hah. History has it, villages and towns welcomed him with open arms and he conquered the whole nation without even a drop of blood.

I can;t dream of our suffering without these great lords and his followers. And of course the ever helpful friendly neighbour of ours. It is our great privilege that we were able to bless our future generation with a starving nation where chaos and poverty rules and these lords are worshiped. Nostalgia is not a place to be, and neither is utopia.

Just take a moment to thank these lords and their 601 followers who returned this country to pre-Sha Hah era were everyone had their own kingdoms to fight and where there was no harmony. You should feel sorry to have just even one of these Lords, our luck... we got three of them the same time. Who says Gods don;t exist? It's him who shows you heaven and hell. And in our case hell. It was our choice, so all is well.

Remembering The Royals

It has been 14 years since that fateful night when one of our most beloved royal family were massacred. The nation mourned in disbelief for King Birendra and his family. They came to street, youths shaved their heads, the entire nation was devastated for the loss. I won;t be wrong to say, that day every single Nepali was a royalist.

During same time, the Maoist insurgency was going on. Thousands of people were being killed, slaughtered, murdered. Politicians were busy fighting for power, amassing money and what not? But they cared least about the people. Maoist blamed the politicians for their insurgency, but they wanted to end monarchy, the institution that most people looked upon whenever the politicians failed.

Five years from that, Maoist and politicians forge alliance with the blessing of India to fight Monarchy. After few years they succeeded. Monarchy was abolished. They were portrayed to be symbol of feudal structure rather than unity and what not. Overnight it was blamed to be responsible for anything bad that has ever happened to this nation. And the politicians and Maoist were now our liberators! Prithvi Narayan Shah who founded the very nation, was not spared... ditto with his statue. King Gyanendra left the throne with grace.

Seven years since that, we have multiple Prime Ministers, two elections for Constitution Assembly, but everything is the same. Only difference, they don;t have the monarchy to blame now. But they still fight for power when the entire nation is suffering. There are people who get nostalgic about monarchy every now and then and on days like this. They wish if the institution could be revived.

I say NO! Not because I don;t want it to... just because we don;t deserve them for what we have done to them. We deserve this... these politician, this system, everything...

God Save The King. Jai Desh, Jai Naresh.     

May their soul rest in peace.

Resilience

The earthquake that struck the country last month not only shocked the country but surprised as well. Surprised in the sense that we got to see that side of ordinary people, which we probably won;t have witnessed had this calamity not struck upon us. We might have seen it in sporadic manner but not on this scale. Resilience!

There are people still out there sleeping outdoors in tents, most of them afraid about aftershocks that keep coming till date. Some because they don;t have any other options. For a while, there were no inequality in our society. Everyone rich-poor were taking shelter in tents, sleeping under the star scattered sky. For a while it looked like the inequality in our society crumbled along with those buildings. But still there were different kinds of people and their worries. Everyone thought, based on what they went through, God was most unfair to them... He was harsh!

There are people whose houses are intact but reluctant to go back because either its too big or they saw it trembling during the quake and have lost faith. People worried that there are hair like lines on the wall. Some worried because there are big holes on their walls and have to rebuild. Also people who have lost their houses completely and many who have lost some or all of their family. These are the one whom we expect to be upset. But to the surprise of the world, when the media went to them they were back to work, smiling and trying to start their life again. Maybe it would have been harder for them to do so if they were the only one struck by this nightmare, but they can relate themselves with a lot of people around. Their life ain;t easy, but with that courage they will get through it. I must admit, I never expected my countrymen to be this resilient. Take a bow.

But our politicians? Their cadres are selling relief materials and making money. Thank God those people who needed it most helped each other rather than waiting for government... else they would have been dead by now. And for our 'representatives', I have nothing good to say about them.

To end with, I would like to share a humbling experience of a Kiwi news reporter Mike McRoberts, who met an elderly woman who lost everything in the earthquake but still didn;t fail to offer him a lunch.

Respect to all the people like her who remind us of where we came from. Nepal in good old days! 

Post script: To all the people who think or ask if I regret coming back home or think me to be stupid, just imagine being somewhere else when your family/country is going through this nightmare! Is there anything worse than that. And then, when you can appreciate foreign volunteers coming here to help your fellow countrymen, how can you even criticize (if not appreciate) someone who decides to come home.

Republic Day

Yes Saddam was a dictator, and so was Gaddafi. But I bet if you ask the people out there whether they feel better off now or before, sadly they would say under those tyrants. Why? For decades the people there had no rights/freedom to much extent (at least better than Saudi Arabia though, I guess), and there were any oppositions. But when the change arrived they got more rights than they expected and all at the same time. It went through their head, I guess. And all the opposing forces of before started to work for their vested interests and gain power. Sects, prevailed.

I don;t say that was good. Just look at Assad. Half of Syria is occupied by ISIS, and they are ever expanding. Is there any credible force that can takeover Assad once he is gone? None. Once he is gone, ISIS would probably run over Damascus within days. As of now I guess ISIS is a greater threat than Assad, but wait he is a tyrant and no one wants to work with him besides Russia and China and the likes. I say, be flexible and work with him for now. Give and take. The day ISIS prevails, Middle East might burn longer than the oil-reserves they have!

Why I am talking about dictators and democracy? Nepalese Constitution Assembly decide to get rid of the Monarchy this day years ago, thought it will solve everything. Same thing happened, we made our own mistake rather than learning from others. Our politicians? Even Syrians would love to be ruled by Assad rather than our politicians once they see their true colours.

Seven years, seven Prime Ministers and over million excuses later I still believe we got the wrong deal this day in 2008. It is among one of many public holidays that does not make sense anymore. You celebrate achievements not blunders, right? 

Its hard to tell the difference between a democracy and a republic when you have same bunch of politicians ruling under different systems. Its officially a Republic Day but there are people who remember it to mourn the loss of Monarchy rather than birth of a Republic.

Down with the Republic (system)! Hail Motherland. Jai Desh, Jai Naresh!

Settle Them South

As per the government estimate about 5,00,000 houses were either completely destroyed or were left unsuitable to be used as shelter anymore during the last earthquake. We know that the houses in our hills or say the terraces are not well constructed. Made usually by using local bricks, rocks, timber and mud they don;t stand a chance to resist quakes of any big magnitude, and that is what happened last month. These settlements are prone even during the monsoon landslides. Recent landslide in Kali Gandaki river near Beni, Myagdi was just a reminder how landslide in our rivers could cause havoc in our settlements on river banks that run from north to south.

There has been suggestions either for organized settlements in hills or resettling them in the Terai plains. Organized settlement is a good idea, but most of the people who were living on the terraces on the edges of hills didn;t choose to live there because they wanted to. They needed land to cultivate and make their ends meet, else who would prefer to live in those hinterlands without any road, electricity or water nearby. Some of the towns in the hills can be established based on that which won;t  leave our hills empty. But accommodating all of them there might not be feasible.

And for the rest, the people could be located in fertile plains of Terai. First, people would have safe refuge. Second, they can earn their living working on whatever piece of land they get or somewhere else. Third and most importantly, there has been growing unrest in Terai with some pro-India leaders voicing for separation. In that case, if we are able to resettle these people from hills to Terai, we can increase the harmony among the population and counter any separatist view from within. I read somewhere that during such natural calamity in 2011 B.S., peoples from Lamjung, Tanahun, etc were settled in Chitwan. Then why not settle them this time in Terai plains between Morang to Nawalparasi that helps preserve both national integrity and safety to our citizen.

I know there would be opposition from some political sections, but its time to look ahead to the future. And I guess it's the right time.

Let's settle them south.

Let's Make A Quake

It's been exactly one month since the big-one hit the western hills in Gorkha. For a lot of people life will never ever be the same, even though they wish to. Since then we have had over 250 aftershocks. People are getting used to it but every time life starts to get normal, another scary one strikes. So, there are still people out there living outdoors, some because they don't have home to go, and some just because they are too scared.

When I think about the quake I wonder how many things we have survived in this lifetime. Political change of 1990, Maoist insurgency, landslides, floods, strikes - bandhs, storms, rain, hails... and what not? Two Constitution Assemble Assembly elections and still we ended up with the same bunch of idiots we call our politicians... our 'representatives'?

Isn't it a shame that we feel lucky about surviving these calamities, most of which we didn;t have control over, but still feel helpless when it comes to politicians. If we can survive those calamities then we surely can survive without these fools! It should be them who should be afraid of us rather than other way around.

Yes, we do need a quake, but a political one! Remember when you cast vote next time, make sure you are setting a good precedence for the next generation. And if you feel the candidates are not qualified enough, use your right to 'boycott'.

Post Script: I know the aftershocks are diminishing, but still somewhere inside I feel there will be one last 'big-one' coming pretty soon. Hope not!

Quake-athon

Two ducks walking down a path on a beautiful summer day. One duck looks at the other and says "quack." The other duck says "Damn I was just gonna say that!!" 

I guess a lot of Nepalese can relate to those ducks, the only difference, for us its 'quake' rather than 'quack'.

Just over 2 weeks ago we had a massive earthquake of 7.8 rector scale that took over 8,000 lives, destroyed over 250,000 houses, demolished entire villages and changed the lives of millions forever, for bad. Just when people thought the life was heading to normalcy, another quake of 7.3 rattled the north-eastern hills of Kathmandu this afternoon. And the aftershocks followed. On the first one, we had more than 150 aftershocks of over 4.0 magnitude. On this one, I don;t know how many there will be, but we expect a LOT! So, far as per the news Sidhupalchok and Dolakha are the major affected areas, but 'luckily' the casualty is less this time around. I feel sorry for the folks of Sindhupalchok who were worst hit on the first one as well. 

For change, the PM Sushil Koirala addressed the nation today after the quake. No offences but am I the only one who needs a subtitle whenever the PM is on the idiot box? But then I think, whats the point, he is a politician and no politician say what they actually intend to. No need to worry what he said. 

A lot of people will be staying outside tonight. I hope it won;t rain to make the things worse. I don;t know how long this 'quake-athon' will last, but hope it ends soon. Sooner the better. But for now our days are Shaking Sunday, Moving Monday, Tremor Tuesday, Wobbling Wednesday, Trembling Thursday, Frightening Friday, Silent Saturday.

Stay strong people!

The Broken Roof

The day was gloomy, with the black clouds hovering all day long. And yes it is a Sunday. It did take long, but late evening it finally turned into Gloomy Sunday. There was lightening, thunderbolts, whispering wind, heavy rainfall and maybe a little bit of hail as well. I can hear the sound of every thundering cloud and a glimpse of the city after every flashing lightening. I feel happy that I am home. Safe.

But then I wonder what would had happened if the tremor had hit us on a day like this? Or if it hits now since we are still getting the aftershocks. Then my thought goes out to the people out there who are yet to receive the relief. Yes, its been over 2 weeks and there are still people out there who are yet to see the face of relief. I won;t blame the government, we all know what they are up to ... I never had any expectations from these bunch of fools, never had, never will.

Nepal did receive relief materials like dry foods, tents, medicines, etc from friends around the world. Some less, some more but we did. But government. They slept too long and when they woke up, 'our' politicians were fighting to distribute the relief materials among their cadres and in their constituencies.

I turn on the idiot box and see people who have walked for four hours to get the relief. What they got? Couple of packs of noodles. That's it. They say their village is completely devastated, most of them have lost their family members, and they were there in hope of getting tents and some food. But they have to walk back home empty hand. Almost.

When you talk to the government ministers they will say they have distributed thousands of tents for people and so and so. But on the spot, there would be hardly 10-20 people who actually got it, and majority of them people with political affiliations/connections. There are bunches of incidents where those tents (good quality ones from China, US and Western world) have landed to houses of politicians, high ranking bureaucrats and the likes who have their house intact and have no right to claim it whatsoever. You can see in social media where tents donated by Red Cross has been used as canopy for car parking in private houses and all that. Isn't it a shame that there are people who are desperately in need of tents and there are these people who are hoarding it? It;s utter disgrace! It should be kind of War Crime. I mean what people with moral integrity will do this? Hope their family is proud of them. 

Oh! It's Mother's Day today. I feel sorry for mothers whose children are doing this. I don;t blame them, their children didn;t deserve to be born on first place. I can only say one thing to people doing this, 'Hope you get to feel what people needing those relief are feeling personally. Hope the next quake knocks your house down! Hopefully soon!.'

Sorry, but it hurts when there are people who are doing everything possible to help their countrymen and then there are these bunch of self-centered humans(?) who make you feel that the dictionary is yet to coin word to describe their inhumanity. Disgrace, total disgrace.

Pray for those people in need and do help them whichever way possible. 

Together we can.

His Judgement Cometh And That Right Soon

Finally, after 13 years the hit and run case against Bollywood superstar #SalmanKhan got a verdict. He was convicted of killing a homeless man and sentenced to 5 years in prison. With his unmatched popularity among masses, its normal for people to get upset with the verdict. Yes, he has done a lot to other needy people though his charity organization #BeingHuman, but that does not mean he should be considered for less severe punishment for what he has done in the past.

The law should rule supreme and if anyone is guilty, s/he should be punished based on that, not more not less. Even I am a huge fan of Salman and I do believe he is a man with 'golden heart', but with that said wouldn't it be injustice to deprive the man who was killed to deny fair trail and justice? Isn;t law supposed to treat everyone equal?

Since 'our' government is officially pro-impunity,I guess the wait for us in Nepal is going to be a bit longer to see those people who committed heinous crimes during the Maoist insurgency behind bars. Most of them were 'cleansed' for political reasons, and the voiceless people were denied justice. I hope and am sure the justice will surely come to them.

But as of now all we can do is wait. Wait for the day when the law of this land treats everyone equal and gets people on the wrong side of it behind bars. 

Nepalese Nightmare - The Story So Far

One That Flew Away

Turning The Page

Being Viktor Navorski

Plain Stupid

How many people out there in the developing world dream to come to the United States? Almost everyone. A lot of them are even ready to pay astronomical amount to get in here. And once you get in, you try hard to hold on to it and do whatever  you can to prolong your stay. Legally if you can, else illegally. That's the general norm.

Most of the people who come here as students delay their graduation so that they can stay here longer and maintain their legal status. Once they finish one degree they go for another one. Some are lucky to get sponsorship from their employer for H1-visa, most are not. And there are some who marry American citizens to stay here at States. Once they are settled, they look forward to bring their family here, maybe move from apartment to home and their American Dream goes on.

Who in his sane state of mind would think otherwise? Turns out I I don't comply with that norm. Everyone was stunned when I declared 'I am going back home!" Their first reaction was, "For how long? When will you come back?". I replied, "I am going for good. Not coming back." I know where they are coming from. I have only been here for two-and-half years. That's it. They had all the logic to ask that question.

Before you jump to conclusion, let me explain why my case is different. I finished my MBA in 15 months, which actually takes 2 years for completion. Yup, took more credits per semester. After graduating I moved to Colorado, started working and am living with my sister. Family. To add to that my parents visited us twice in this time, so I can't be home sick as well. And I do make sure to talk with them over Skype when they are not around.

Like everyone else, my plan for a while too was to get another degree. But then I had a change of heart. I realized what's the point? What am I doing with my life? I realized I won;t like what I would be doing by doing so. It's waste of time, money and everything. So I decided to call it a quit. I don;t know why, but there was urge in me to go back home... without any reason. I felt it was time to go home.

Finally after having my flight cancelled yesterday, I am heading home today. I know its not as good as it is here, but its HOME... you can;t find any better reason than that. And never will. I would be taking the western route via China. So, literally it will take me 962 days to travel around the world. I bet that is not a world record though. Again, there would be people who want to be on my shoes, but... you need courage to be stupid.

Hah! My life, I decide. So, be assured I don;t and I won;t have any complaints. But I know I will come back here, hopefully sooner if not later. I just know, inside.

But for a while, people will think I am Plain Stupid. I say, let the future decide. As of now I am as happy as I have ever been. 

Namaste Kathmandu.

I Don't Luff Myself Enough.

Paradise It;s For So Many

Place They Can Only Dream About

Plain Stupid I Might Look Like, But

It;s The Last Thing I Am Thinking About

Everything Looks Perfect Outside

And It Even Actually Is

But It's Worth Nothing When

You Still Dream To Fly Over Seas

My Heart Ain;t Here Anymore

To Keep Me Here Very Tough

As Of Now I Am Convinced That

I Don;t Luff Myself Enough

That Ol' Friend

How we became friends?

Well back in Winter of '94 on my first day in new school, my brother introduced me to him and said, "from today onward you two are friends." And well that was it.We have been friends ever since.

And if you are wondering how it survived so long, then I guess there are three main reasons:

First, he has always been a wonderful friend. Always.

Second, in my culture/country you don;t disobey what your elder brother says.

Third and most important, you don;t want to be in the wrong book of people who know your secrets from school days, right?

But through the years I don;t remember a time when we had a tiff or anything like that. But when we got out of school, we got busy with our own lives and the communication became more 'sparse'... but even today we could start conversation from the same point where we stopped last time.

Ain;t No Good!

Garden Of Flowers They Promised

But So Far I Ain;t Witness No Bloom 

I See The Moisture From Soil Dyin' Out

Get Away, Else You're Headed For Doom

Don;t Know When Those Lines Disappeared

Thought Were Inscribed Permanently On My Face

I Ain;t Hoping Nothing From The Lord

Blessed Me Always With Lesser Than Hopeless

You Better Turn The World Around Soon

Or Else I Am Headed For The Wood

I Have Been Here, Seen That, Believe Me

This Place Ain;t, For The Moment, Ain;t No Good.