Crush: a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
That is how Urban Dictionary defines a 'crush' to be. I don;t know if my crushes actually fit into that definition or not, but then I don;t care... whatever it be, who cares about the limitations of definition when you can actually afford to have a crush! A crush is a crush is a crush. Enough said.
I have never talked about my crushes with my siblings, maybe I felt awkward about that... even after updating this post, I don;t think I would like to talk about it in person, but they can always go through this blog, that;s fine with me... and again, a crush is a crush is a crush... nothing serious, if there is something that looks like going for a long term, then obviously I will always let them know, for that their opinion counts.
I am just uploading this post because its always fun having crush, and it has got high repeat value when you go back and relieve those moments, you;ll either feel awesome or awkward, but still it won;t fail to bring smile to your face. I have always said, a crush is a wonderful way to keep your heart beating...
You can fall for someone on a first sight, but then you can have crush on someone for years as well... it all depends upon the person, you never know... sounds like it is as weird as falling in luff, maybe... atleast some of their characteristics overlap, and that is expected.
So, here is my account on my crushes so far... both crushes and crashes, as much as I remember till this day... all the way back from school to recent past!
Where shall I begin with? I don;t know... maybe I liked few in my early school days... but the first that comes up to my mind is the girl from Galaxy who was in the same bus-stop as mine when I was in Grade VI. During that time I was at all time low in my entire school days, rock-bottom in my rank and grades... and then I had crush on her... kind of mongoloid-face and there was always a helper carrying her bag... never had courage to go and talk to her, I had no guts... I was a kid, I was shy, I was afraid... and I had my siblings by my side during that time... I just wish I had known her name... I wish, but still I remember the face... I am not sure, but that lasted till some time until I was in Grade VII. By-the-way, I was doing good in class when I was in Grade VII, so maybe she had some positive impact on that!
Come Grade VIII and I fell for The Girl Whose Name I Don;t Know, and I fell so damn hard! It took me almost a decade to get up and walk again! Few people have the ability to turn your life around, for me she was one of them... since she donned Irish green shirt during sports days for her school, I will call her Eire! And maybe I will keep the name of the school secret as well. Funny but true, from that day my favourite colour is Green! By the way, she was from my bus-stop as well... sounds like I was living in heaven or so, with all the angles falling by my bus-stop!
When I saw her for the first time, she had short hairs... I still remember it was my first day of Grade VIII, a day after my birthday. That short hair made me notice her the very first time... God is a genius! In the days that followed I realized that she had her bus-stop just next to mine, what else should I ask for? The story began... I never missed a chance to see her, either she was getting into her bus or I was getting into mine. She had a friend with her, and that made situation a bit complicated to break the ice! And as we all know, the confidence tanks in situation like this! The status-quo prevailed.
Year passed by, still no improvements! But I was changing, for good. I looked at her and thought 'she is too good, I need to improve', and so I did... I started keeping myself engaged, sketching, painting, poems, reading out-course books, and what not? I made my mind to do at least one new thing every year, even if I sucked in that, I would be happy at least I tried... and then there was my family who were always behind me, always!
Finally in Grade X, I tell my best friend that I liked that girl. So, he comes to my rescue and assures me to help break the ice... and she don;t have her friend around these days. So, the next day, my friend comes to my bus stop and we go to talk to her. That voice! I can identify that even in the crowd... he makes formal conversation, turns out she is one year junior to us... but then after a minute or two the script takes a wrong twist, that day her bus comes early!
Nothing was same from that day, I fell deeper! And to my bad luck, never had chance to talk with her again... in over 3 years I saw her about like 50 times, at times even near my tution center, informals... have I turned back and looked at anyone else besides her till date? Hell, no... she was one of a kind. The last time I saw her during school days was in December, that day she turned and looked at me! That was the killer blow, I was stung! And it took forever to move away from it. I don;t know where she went, never saw her again... but one day I was coming back home, back from my Grade XII board exam, and whom do I see? No point for guessing. Thank you God! I still remember... I went home and drew a sketch that day, May 10! I still remember almost everything, I need not even close the eyes... that voice, that curly free flowing hair... I fall short of words when it comes to talking about her!
So, between my second crush and third one, which had a gap of a decade in-between, I had eye-vitamins! They are just one grade below crush, they were different than the rest of the people in the sense they stood out... made an impression at least to me... and they made me a regular in college for all four years... I just missed a day or so, and even that for family reasons.
Did I see anyone during my +2, I don;t remember... maybe not, even if I did, maybe wasn;t pretty enough... otherwise I wouldn;t have forgotten! I always had class at 7 in the morning, but that was fine, as I was used to waking up early since I had early morning classes during my +2 as well. The eye vitamins were additional motivation to go to college!
I have always said that, there weren't a single girl in my class that I thought was pretty... not a single one, and I have admitted it infront of everyone. I ain;t complaining, good for me... that way I could concentrate on my studies... and then there were eye vitamins in between classes and before/after college! During my first semester, there weren;t much student in the college, we were the first batch... no seniors to look forward to... then we had this Econ Maa'm who was a France return... she was a different class, amazing personality... and her son was studying +2 in India! She literally didn;t look like even 30! Later I saw her in 2011 or so outside my bank, she looked old now... and truth be told, that was the only subject in which I got a 'B', throughout my undergrad!
Come second semester, I went for different one... with change of season. Hekate, that's what her Hi5 name was! She was short, straight hairs, studied Social Works... and I at first thought she had attitude... but later realized she pulled it off quiet well. Don;t know much about her, but heard she was aspiring for US those days, didn;t make it though... maybe she could get some inspiration from me, I got third time lucky!
Third semester, and I was back to square one... No, no.. I didn't started seeing someone over again... back to the bus stop... I had a new eye-vitamin now. She was kind of dusky... a bit less fair complexion than mine, tall, straight hairs, always with eye liners on, properly dressed up... and avid fan of Avril! For first few times I saw her randomly before I actually noticed her... I had no idea where she went for college or where she lived-at in the neighbourhood!
After sometimes she moved back to the same bus-stop... she took local vehicle as well, and I am not sure we were in same vehicle once or twice... that's it... and she dropped in Old Baneshwor that time. Now I had new motivation to wake up on time, not miss the class and be at the bus stop on time as she would be there for a fraction of time and board the vehicle to college.
Every morning when I went to the bus stop, most of the time she would be in a fancy-shop en route, that felt good... and after a while she would arrive and board the vehicle. Was that a clue? I know, don;t! I tried to figure out where she lived, but in vain. One day I went to see my friend of school who studied in a college at Old Baneshwor, tell you what? I see this girl getting down from tempo and coming my way where I was talking to my friend. Damn! they study in the same college. I ask my friend if she knows her, and she did... but she didn;t like her much, her nickname was 'Crow'... I called her 'Rox' from that day, and yeah! I named my present dog after that! I once went to talk to her, that's it, and that had nothing to do with telling what I thought about her... all this time I noticed, she rarely smiled, and I pretended as if I give it a damn! No progress. Finally, I figured out her house and when I used to go for evening walks, I saw her often! She lasted till seventh semester prolly!
I don;t think I had any eye vitamins during 8th semester... I had internship and I was busy with that. No time for site-seeing! And after I was done with my undergrad, I joined the bank to work... good for me, no eye vitamins there as well, meaning I can concentrate on my work!
November of '09 things started to change again. An old school mate joined the bank... never had I talked to her before, but I had noticed her since grade VI. Why? Because she looked like the girl that I had crush on during those days, the one from Galaxy! She was shy in school, never talked to her... never even heard her voice... and it took me by surprise when she came to talk to me at work when I was leaving for lunch! And she knew my name! I wasn;t expecting someone who I have never talked to, come to me to talk and know my name as well. Was I that popular in school? I don;t think so... I mean we were almost 250 students in that batch. Turns out we were together in same class thrice!
She looked all the same, always smiling... that happy look and a wonderful human being. I got 'friendzoned' in those small 'Hi's and 'Hello's. We were a complete mismatch, position wise, background wise, tastes... everything. She was a wiz-kid! But she was down to earth... and it took time for me to understand (?) her... slowly and steadily I had a crush on her. I didn;t have courage to admit that. I always wanted things to fall into place before I make a move. She asked me if we could do our MBAs together back home, but I always dreamed of joining my sister here... American dream! So, I explained and declined. My bad. And finally I dared, after I came here to say how I felt!
What happened next? Maybe I should keep it upto there, it's a secret... no conversation about that in private as well, let alone in public. Consider it to be chapter closed back home... if that makes it easy... so that's it, my crushes and crashes so far... maybe I should make a seperate post for the States, probably.
Post script: There are currently few eye vitamins whom I admire, the first one is a red-head Ginger, whom I noticed during summer... she is full of life and artistic, talks less. Then there was this girl who had kind of familiar face... never knew her name, but accidentally found she has a YouTube page where she sings and does other stuffs, and that sounds interesting. Then there is currently this girl, don;t know if she is American or what, but for me she looks kind of French... actually looks like Zeta-Jones, must be Welsh! She doesn;t talk much as well. Let's see, I still have just over a month of school left, if there would be any progress!
I am just uploading this post because its always fun having crush, and it has got high repeat value when you go back and relieve those moments, you;ll either feel awesome or awkward, but still it won;t fail to bring smile to your face. I have always said, a crush is a wonderful way to keep your heart beating...
You can fall for someone on a first sight, but then you can have crush on someone for years as well... it all depends upon the person, you never know... sounds like it is as weird as falling in luff, maybe... atleast some of their characteristics overlap, and that is expected.
So, here is my account on my crushes so far... both crushes and crashes, as much as I remember till this day... all the way back from school to recent past!
Where shall I begin with? I don;t know... maybe I liked few in my early school days... but the first that comes up to my mind is the girl from Galaxy who was in the same bus-stop as mine when I was in Grade VI. During that time I was at all time low in my entire school days, rock-bottom in my rank and grades... and then I had crush on her... kind of mongoloid-face and there was always a helper carrying her bag... never had courage to go and talk to her, I had no guts... I was a kid, I was shy, I was afraid... and I had my siblings by my side during that time... I just wish I had known her name... I wish, but still I remember the face... I am not sure, but that lasted till some time until I was in Grade VII. By-the-way, I was doing good in class when I was in Grade VII, so maybe she had some positive impact on that!
Come Grade VIII and I fell for The Girl Whose Name I Don;t Know, and I fell so damn hard! It took me almost a decade to get up and walk again! Few people have the ability to turn your life around, for me she was one of them... since she donned Irish green shirt during sports days for her school, I will call her Eire! And maybe I will keep the name of the school secret as well. Funny but true, from that day my favourite colour is Green! By the way, she was from my bus-stop as well... sounds like I was living in heaven or so, with all the angles falling by my bus-stop!
When I saw her for the first time, she had short hairs... I still remember it was my first day of Grade VIII, a day after my birthday. That short hair made me notice her the very first time... God is a genius! In the days that followed I realized that she had her bus-stop just next to mine, what else should I ask for? The story began... I never missed a chance to see her, either she was getting into her bus or I was getting into mine. She had a friend with her, and that made situation a bit complicated to break the ice! And as we all know, the confidence tanks in situation like this! The status-quo prevailed.
Year passed by, still no improvements! But I was changing, for good. I looked at her and thought 'she is too good, I need to improve', and so I did... I started keeping myself engaged, sketching, painting, poems, reading out-course books, and what not? I made my mind to do at least one new thing every year, even if I sucked in that, I would be happy at least I tried... and then there was my family who were always behind me, always!
Finally in Grade X, I tell my best friend that I liked that girl. So, he comes to my rescue and assures me to help break the ice... and she don;t have her friend around these days. So, the next day, my friend comes to my bus stop and we go to talk to her. That voice! I can identify that even in the crowd... he makes formal conversation, turns out she is one year junior to us... but then after a minute or two the script takes a wrong twist, that day her bus comes early!
Nothing was same from that day, I fell deeper! And to my bad luck, never had chance to talk with her again... in over 3 years I saw her about like 50 times, at times even near my tution center, informals... have I turned back and looked at anyone else besides her till date? Hell, no... she was one of a kind. The last time I saw her during school days was in December, that day she turned and looked at me! That was the killer blow, I was stung! And it took forever to move away from it. I don;t know where she went, never saw her again... but one day I was coming back home, back from my Grade XII board exam, and whom do I see? No point for guessing. Thank you God! I still remember... I went home and drew a sketch that day, May 10! I still remember almost everything, I need not even close the eyes... that voice, that curly free flowing hair... I fall short of words when it comes to talking about her!
So, between my second crush and third one, which had a gap of a decade in-between, I had eye-vitamins! They are just one grade below crush, they were different than the rest of the people in the sense they stood out... made an impression at least to me... and they made me a regular in college for all four years... I just missed a day or so, and even that for family reasons.
Did I see anyone during my +2, I don;t remember... maybe not, even if I did, maybe wasn;t pretty enough... otherwise I wouldn;t have forgotten! I always had class at 7 in the morning, but that was fine, as I was used to waking up early since I had early morning classes during my +2 as well. The eye vitamins were additional motivation to go to college!
I have always said that, there weren't a single girl in my class that I thought was pretty... not a single one, and I have admitted it infront of everyone. I ain;t complaining, good for me... that way I could concentrate on my studies... and then there were eye vitamins in between classes and before/after college! During my first semester, there weren;t much student in the college, we were the first batch... no seniors to look forward to... then we had this Econ Maa'm who was a France return... she was a different class, amazing personality... and her son was studying +2 in India! She literally didn;t look like even 30! Later I saw her in 2011 or so outside my bank, she looked old now... and truth be told, that was the only subject in which I got a 'B', throughout my undergrad!
Come second semester, I went for different one... with change of season. Hekate, that's what her Hi5 name was! She was short, straight hairs, studied Social Works... and I at first thought she had attitude... but later realized she pulled it off quiet well. Don;t know much about her, but heard she was aspiring for US those days, didn;t make it though... maybe she could get some inspiration from me, I got third time lucky!
Third semester, and I was back to square one... No, no.. I didn't started seeing someone over again... back to the bus stop... I had a new eye-vitamin now. She was kind of dusky... a bit less fair complexion than mine, tall, straight hairs, always with eye liners on, properly dressed up... and avid fan of Avril! For first few times I saw her randomly before I actually noticed her... I had no idea where she went for college or where she lived-at in the neighbourhood!
After sometimes she moved back to the same bus-stop... she took local vehicle as well, and I am not sure we were in same vehicle once or twice... that's it... and she dropped in Old Baneshwor that time. Now I had new motivation to wake up on time, not miss the class and be at the bus stop on time as she would be there for a fraction of time and board the vehicle to college.
Every morning when I went to the bus stop, most of the time she would be in a fancy-shop en route, that felt good... and after a while she would arrive and board the vehicle. Was that a clue? I know, don;t! I tried to figure out where she lived, but in vain. One day I went to see my friend of school who studied in a college at Old Baneshwor, tell you what? I see this girl getting down from tempo and coming my way where I was talking to my friend. Damn! they study in the same college. I ask my friend if she knows her, and she did... but she didn;t like her much, her nickname was 'Crow'... I called her 'Rox' from that day, and yeah! I named my present dog after that! I once went to talk to her, that's it, and that had nothing to do with telling what I thought about her... all this time I noticed, she rarely smiled, and I pretended as if I give it a damn! No progress. Finally, I figured out her house and when I used to go for evening walks, I saw her often! She lasted till seventh semester prolly!
I don;t think I had any eye vitamins during 8th semester... I had internship and I was busy with that. No time for site-seeing! And after I was done with my undergrad, I joined the bank to work... good for me, no eye vitamins there as well, meaning I can concentrate on my work!
November of '09 things started to change again. An old school mate joined the bank... never had I talked to her before, but I had noticed her since grade VI. Why? Because she looked like the girl that I had crush on during those days, the one from Galaxy! She was shy in school, never talked to her... never even heard her voice... and it took me by surprise when she came to talk to me at work when I was leaving for lunch! And she knew my name! I wasn;t expecting someone who I have never talked to, come to me to talk and know my name as well. Was I that popular in school? I don;t think so... I mean we were almost 250 students in that batch. Turns out we were together in same class thrice!
She looked all the same, always smiling... that happy look and a wonderful human being. I got 'friendzoned' in those small 'Hi's and 'Hello's. We were a complete mismatch, position wise, background wise, tastes... everything. She was a wiz-kid! But she was down to earth... and it took time for me to understand (?) her... slowly and steadily I had a crush on her. I didn;t have courage to admit that. I always wanted things to fall into place before I make a move. She asked me if we could do our MBAs together back home, but I always dreamed of joining my sister here... American dream! So, I explained and declined. My bad. And finally I dared, after I came here to say how I felt!
What happened next? Maybe I should keep it upto there, it's a secret... no conversation about that in private as well, let alone in public. Consider it to be chapter closed back home... if that makes it easy... so that's it, my crushes and crashes so far... maybe I should make a seperate post for the States, probably.
Post script: There are currently few eye vitamins whom I admire, the first one is a red-head Ginger, whom I noticed during summer... she is full of life and artistic, talks less. Then there was this girl who had kind of familiar face... never knew her name, but accidentally found she has a YouTube page where she sings and does other stuffs, and that sounds interesting. Then there is currently this girl, don;t know if she is American or what, but for me she looks kind of French... actually looks like Zeta-Jones, must be Welsh! She doesn;t talk much as well. Let's see, I still have just over a month of school left, if there would be any progress!
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