Monday, March 18, 2013

The Inner Voice

I ain’t a bookworm… never been one! And most of the people have just the opposite view regarding that about me. During my school days, I had my ups and downs in my studies… and as I look back from here today, I believe with all that I had been through, I at least got the lesson right. But still this day I am pathetic in time management… I study for exams at the last hour and realize that it wasn’t a good idea, always! Some habits are hard to change than others, and for me it has been the one… which I would love to change… but don’t know if I ever could as I am almost at the end of my schooling days… unless I decide to pursue a PhD! But then I realize it would all be the same with my work as well… the deadlines, they are everywhere!

Grade VI, I believe it was when I hit the rock bottom! Poor grades, percentage, no motivation… no nothing. It was possibly the lowest phase of my life as well…that is what I thought then. I was a kid! I remember my mother and brother helping me revise my Math problems before the exam… 16+14=32! That was what I had in my exercise copy! Why? Because I copied my homework from someone else, and that was it! That was just tip of the iceberg! Come Grade VII! The turnaround year… I was back to my pre-grade VI days, good in studies again! I bounced back well… and the credit goes to my family… they have always been there… always, every single day and moment…
From there on my grades never looked back, luckily. I had a dream to become a surgeon when I read one story during my Grade V, I don’t remember the title of the story but I know that was my inspiration. So I was back on track with that dream again… and my grades suggested I wasn’t daydreaming! Everything looked good. Iron Gate came… was disappointed by the result, but my dreams weren’t dashed… joined a bridge course… everything was on track…

Applied in St. Xavier’s, I thought I did it good, maybe others did better… I wasn’t in the short list… so decided to join my earlier school for higher studies. First day of college… I could relate to everything that was being taught on the board, but somewhere inside I felt as if this is not the place I belong… that was strange! That night during the dinner I announced that I don’t feel like studying Science, I think I would like to pursue Management… everyone supported! They felt I should do what I think is better for me, if it ain’t Science, so it be… the next day I changed the faculty.

Never before had I taken Economics or something related to management… we had Accounting class earlier on, but that didn’t even dealt with the basic transactions that accounting is all about… but after a while I picked it up… my grades were good if not better. I was heading in the right direction but still I had not proved myself and my decision to be right. Decided to pursue Business Administration like my siblings… At first my target was to land among the top 10, I don’t know how, to everyone’s surprise I stood first! Dang!

Went to get the report card with my father, as we were supposed to… the Co-ordinator cum Principal was upset, must be, he had his hopes pinned on someone else… who was more ‘first boy material’… He tells to my father, ‘he’s like a kite, you never know when it will be chopped off the thread!’… I don’t know if he was sane, iDoubt! But time is a great tutor… he got his lesson in the subsequent results… four-in-a-row that felt good… but truly speaking, I never craved to be first, it happened… my family were surprised too, they knew I never studied, but I was regular to college… and that helped. It helped me realize that I made right decision by listening to my ‘inner voice’. That was my moment of redemption...

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